haircut

In a brilliant display of stupidity that could only be set to the song ‘chariots of fire,’ serial fuck up and Alternative U.S. President, Donald J. Trump arrived to work this morning without a certain something: his hair.

Seems he also goes by a different name now, too, Ronald Pmurt– to which he claims the ‘p’ is silent. Judging by the ridiculousness of this latest stunt by the now Pmurt administration, you can expect tons of fun.

“Mr. Trump, that’s such an interesting choice to shave your head. Is this a sign that you’re willing to make changes in how you run the country… Wait, I mean is this a sign that you’re going to actually run the country now, sir?”

The question, asked by Rose Palmer in the crowd of Journalists outside the White House as Trump walked out to greet everyone, was on the mind of everyone waiting their turn.

“Who? Did you address me as ‘Mr.Trump?’

“That is your name isn’t it, sir?” Palmer asked sharply.

“See, this is what I’m talking about. Right here you have someone that doesn’t think folks. That does not think. I’m President Ronald Pmurt, which, by the way, the ‘p’ is silent, I beat Hillary Clinton in a landslide in 2016. Start thinking will ya’? Next question.”

“Uh, sir, and I call you that strictly to avoid calling you the President, actually you lost the popular vote by three million and Pmurt is just ‘Trump’ spelled backwards.” Palmer insisted that Trump had been lying but she could not pierce his veil of bullshit. It was clear he was going to stick with his new name and look.

We asked special counsel Robert Mueller what he planned to do about Mr. Pmurt now that he’s going to prosecute Mr. Trump.

“Whether he goes by Pmurt or Trump, his ass is as the grass that grows on his golf courses.”

 

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